Sometimes people and things think and act like they’re something they’re not. A dog thinks it’s a cat. A worrier acts like it’s cool. Bicyclists think they’re cars, but not ones that have to obey traffic signals.

In Southern MA today, joggers thought they were cars. There was no marathon for money or a race or anything. A few people in a little place known as Northbridge, MA just decided to jog in the main road going through the town. Sure, this is a small town, but it is the road that leads to the closest huge ass Walmart).

You might think to yourself that this is happening because many of these little towns have no sidewalks. This area, however, sported what appeared to be excellent sidewalks. I mean, they looked like they were functional. I didn’t try them out myself since I was in my truck. That would be a bit inappropriate, to use a sidewalk while in a truck. It would be about as inappropriate as say pedestrians jogging in the road.

So, why then would these pedestrians so take their lives into their own hands? It occurs to me that the confusion might stem from the word sidewalk. These suburbanites in their jogging gear, sunglasses, and caps might have thought they would offend the sidewalk’s sensibilities if they were to run on it instead of walk upon it. It would be as big a crime as if someone had walked on the ‘do not walk on the grass’ greenery, or loitered in front of the ‘no loitering sign’. A life of crime like that just isn’t worth it. It’s better to put your safety on the line and wiggle your tight toosh in front of my Ford F150.


And let’s not offend any bicyclists by jogging in their little lane. No, let’s go out a bit in case *they* need to get by.

Yes, let us burn off our carbs, jogging two abreast, in the middle of the main road.

It’s okay if the cars and trucks need to go around us, over the yellow line. I’m sure the cars coming the other way won’t mind.

What? You think we should step up on the sidewalk so vehicles can go around?

Hey! We have rights. You ever hear of a little thing called the Constitution? You know the amendment that protects our right to be assholes? This is America, damn it!

Meanwhile, people like me wonder why these joggers can’t just stay home, hook up the power pad to their Nintendo Entertainment Center, and play World Class Track Meet.

Someone at work the other day had the audacity to imply that women had it better because of the variety of clothing we get to chose from. When I get up in the morning exhausted and have at most an hour to get out the door, believe me, the last thing I want to think about is how to match up this variety. Does the color, pattern, and cut match? Will I be too cold? Is this somewhat see through (and if so, do I have a clean white bra?)? I can’t wear that shirt with that bottom, I need a longer shirt or a higher cut of pants. Damn it, those are two different shades of blue.

Variety isn’t what I’m thanking of when I’m faced with the daunting task of clothes shopping on a budget for practical, versatile clothing. I want something I can wear often, not be too uncomfortable in, look decent in, not have to wear something under, and won’t fall apart if I put it in a washer (I *will* hang dry as a compromise, but who has the resources to hand wash their clothes?). Variety means you could potentially buy a piece of clothing that can be only worn with a certain other set of clothing to not look stupid.

I don’t need to look “damn” even a fraction of the time in my world. I still don’t want to look stupid. That bar is higher for women, with pressure from both men and other women. If a guy wears something stupid, it not only okay because he’s a guy, but it might be kind of cute or endearing.

I like guy’s clothing. Too bad it doesn’t fit women correctly. That doesn’t mean I don’t own and wear men’s clothing if I like it enough. It’s elegant in its simplicity. It’s really hard to screw up or not find something when shopping. It’s very practical and spans seasons and occasions easily. If there are designs or logos, they’re more often subtle or of cool things. Too boot, the sizes even make sense. Hallelujah.

Women’s sizes… for pants I wear an 11/12. What does that mean? I have no idea. As it is, I have a lot of 13/14 too. Why are they /? I don’t know. What waist size and pant length does that equal? Well, there must be some algorithm based on brand, style, and those arbitrary numbers with the /. Women hackers are working on it as you are reading this. If you are a woman who is (what some person somewhere decided) ‘a bit tall’ or ‘a little short’ (or someone has determined your waist size is inconsistent to your leg length), you’re pretty much screwed or need to become a seamstress. Some pants have little bits of leeway. You can get a 11/12 tall. How tall? Well the amount you’re supposed to be if your ass is that size and you’re taller, duh!

Do you like pockets? Someone thinks women don’t, because half of my pants don’t have them (though they may be styled to look like they do).

So, if pants are complicated, don’t get me started on shirts. Guys have short sleeve and long sleeves. Women have those, and three quarter sleeves. Guys have crew or v-neck. Women have every cut imaginable, including square. I mentioned see through shirts above, and I’m not joking when I say you have to check to make sure before you buy a shirt (or skirt, unless you want to purchase and coordinate a matching slip*).

There are all kinds of additional shit people like to put on shirts and bottoms too. Dumb designs aren’t the half of it. Shoulder pads, body suit attachments, beads, sequins, fringe, fur, shininess, fake pockets, fuzzies, and whatever else they just decided was in, or was in at some point. Every year some other stupid trend comes along. Last summer, for the life of me I could not find a tank top that wasn’t long enough to be a dress. Some women don’t have much curves around the waist, so maybe having a long tank top was okay. For me, having a shirt that needs to fit both my waist and but is a joke. It’s also silly. Why does my ass need to wear my fitted shirt?

Fitted clothing is a good idea if you have a sizing structure to match fits. Men come in enough varieties for body type. With curves, women have at least double the variation. With sizes so vague, how does someone find a fitted shirt that fits when the sizes are: x-small, small, medium, large, x-large (and some larges with more and more x’s). Most women take a small, medium, or large. Is someone trying to tell me that most women in the world have upper bodies that fit into 3 categories? Even a man knows (and maybe especially a strait man) that women’s breasts come in a variety of sizes and match up with a variety of stomachs.

I haven’t even touched on women’s shoes, belts, and purses. I didn’t even get into dresses. I feel I’ve gone far enough and just don’t want to go there right now.

I hate women’s clothing. It has nothing to do with my body either. I know that when I find a perfect fit (once in a life time) of something that isn’t some weird failed art project, I look good.

I can’t wait for the day it’s acceptable for men to wear any and all of women’s clothing. A few things will happen: women’s clothes will come in a wider variety and more accurate sizing. Also, men will understand how much of a pain in the ass it is and expect less of us. Maybe, women’s clothing will become more practical.

The empathy would also be nice. They will say, “Wow, pantyhose sucks. It’s itchy, it can get ruined by breathing on it too hard, and did I mention it’s itchy?”

And we’ll say, “Mmm-hmm.. damn strait.”

*slip - n. A skirt like thingy that goes under a skirt. Why one isn’t sewn into the skirts that need them is a mystery.

Gripping the fickle, it’s like a vice
been held a captive audience
fading fast, cold as ice
staring through mirrored glass,
past the laughs are other forms
huddling and hiding from the past
trying too hard to last the norm.
That one moment of contact stretches,
breaks at the drop of a hat,
turns around and fetches
another face to fill that
hole that never fills fully
and empties out again.
Let go and into storm I’m riding
struggling to take hold amidst them
when there is nothing to hold onto
except hold each other hiding.
Drift and struggle inside the storm
perpetuate the myth
to function fully and feel the norm
to find purpose in being adrift.
I try to turn away
from the faces and labels
Eddie away from the names
and change the only things
that ever stay the same.
I would stand on two feet
if I wasn’t in fear of falling
I’ll meet you far after
I hear you calling
And let go again whatever we are.

Walmart is scary, and so are many of the people who shop there. They’ll run you over if they see ‘roll backs’ in the prices on soda water. They’ll eat you if they mistake you for a cheese product. They carry germs, disease, and do not know how to control their crazy crying brats who will spread said diseases.

The one by my apartment is huge. You could easily get lost in there for all eternity. The first time I was ever there was with my family. They had to ‘pick up a few things’. I lost them about five minutes in, couldn’t find them or what I was looking for, and left a few hours later with bags full of stuff I’d never associate the words ‘had to’ with.


Even funnier is that this replaced what used to be referred to as “Small Mart”. It was miniature, barely a Walmart. It had nothing you wanted or needed, but you always went back.


I avoid it whenever possible, but on the few occasions I’ve broken down and gone, I need moral support. I usually take my little brother as a shield. The way he drives a cart, everyone knows not to get too close, lest they be taken out.

We make it an adventure… going into enemy territory. The mighty clan of Walmart will not defeat us. We will escape with our lives. Even a trip to the Christmas Tree Shop can be survived if you prepare properly. Just remember, always go into your sub screen and equip your armor!

Screen shot… Dragon Knight 3: Knights of Xentar (PC).

I’m beginning the process of settling into my new job. I’m starting to get the hang of the flow and learn names. I’m learning about the people I’ll be working with closely and they’re not scary at all. Almost all of them mutter and talk to themselves while staring at the computer screen like I do. They work hard, but they also laugh pretty easy.

I’m busy with class and the job and don’t see myself having as much time to put together posts. Rather than not post, I would prefer to post smaller and even less refined.

I still would like to include amusing video game screen shots with every post, but I don’t see that happening. I likely will end up posting just screen shots with captions every so often.

I have been enjoying the thoughts people have been sharing and the discussions that have been happening, and I’d hate to lose that. Thanks to Massif, Tao Cowboy, and SteveJ, this place has been fun and lively as of late. I just want to make certain they, and anyone who posts, knows I enjoy and appreciate you for making this so much more entertaining and rewarding.

Worse than living for tomorrow is constantly feeling guilty or inadequate about the recent or far past. Evaluate and work for a better tomorrow. No one gets everything perfect the first time, and everyone needs time to adjust to new situations. Being hypercritical of yourself is just going wear at your self esteem. It will make you not have the confidence you deserve that will push you to do the work you’re more than capable of.

And don’t be afraid to ask for help, especially if you can gain a better understanding for all the next times. You can use the time you saved by not struggling on your own to offer help in the future.

The ones who should feel guilty or inadequate are the ones who take no risks and never try to raise the bar for themselves. The only dumb questions are left unasked.

Don’t let yourself hold yourself back. Above all, learn and grow.