Yearned


Fate fell on its face
and plunged through
to the other place
where old overcame the new.

A moment in time stretched
and staggered into infinity
condensed reality from farfetched
until only a small part of me.

I can cherish or deny,
but it doesn’t change what’s real,
love gained and lost changed inside
even if his wasn’t the same to feel.

Backwards reeling, plunged forward,
steps taken, and lessons learned
toll mistaken, running away and toward.
Is it enough to have yearned?

You Never Really Know

firework
First rule of life:

You never really know.

You think you know yourself, your friends, what you’ll do today, tomorrow, even next week. You think you know that you will never do something or that you’ll eventually accomplish that one thing that you’re sure you will get done before you roll over into the next world.

We assume all the time. It’s not just for asses.

We assume the floor will be underneath us when we roll out of bed in the morning.

And sometimes, it’s not. Sometimes, there’s not even a bed to roll out of.

I try to take this knowledge and with it appreciate all the times something does work out, go as planned, or just doesn’t go horribly wrong. I try to be thankful when I do have a bed to roll out of.

It’s a mantra. At least this. It could be worse that.

Bad memories are also mantras. All the worries and should haves tend to repeat, chanting in my head.

There are things I arm myself with in anticipation of a time when I lose sight of the way life is. So, I arm myself:

Swallow whole your whole self.
Every part is a piece.
Be yourself at peace.
Be content with being
the being who strives.
Against identity,
we strive to embody eternity,
when all we can be is now.