Walmart is scary, and so are many of the people who shop there. They’ll run you over if they see ‘roll backs’ in the prices on soda water. They’ll eat you if they mistake you for a cheese product. They carry germs, disease, and do not know how to control their crazy crying brats who will spread said diseases.

The one by my apartment is huge. You could easily get lost in there for all eternity. The first time I was ever there was with my family. They had to ‘pick up a few things’. I lost them about five minutes in, couldn’t find them or what I was looking for, and left a few hours later with bags full of stuff I’d never associate the words ‘had to’ with.


Even funnier is that this replaced what used to be referred to as “Small Mart”. It was miniature, barely a Walmart. It had nothing you wanted or needed, but you always went back.


I avoid it whenever possible, but on the few occasions I’ve broken down and gone, I need moral support. I usually take my little brother as a shield. The way he drives a cart, everyone knows not to get too close, lest they be taken out.

We make it an adventure… going into enemy territory. The mighty clan of Walmart will not defeat us. We will escape with our lives. Even a trip to the Christmas Tree Shop can be survived if you prepare properly. Just remember, always go into your sub screen and equip your armor!

Screen shot… Dragon Knight 3: Knights of Xentar (PC).