Left CSS Empathy

The names have been changed to protect the innocent and the more awesome guilty. The text has been edited down to avoid total confusion so you may sift through and amuse yourself with the more amusing general confusion.

Bob: The girl to Henrietta’s left is Mary.

Celes: Do you mean the “other” left?

Bob: No, I mean HENRIETTA’S left, not the viewer’s left.

Celes: Oh! I was thinking “Henrietta’s left” as in to the left of Henrietta, not as in to the left of Henrietta by way of her left, not your left. Left, right, left, right, there’s none of the enemy left right? Right. No, left.

Fred: So isn’t that the other left, then?

Celes: Yes. I guess. It depends on how we define “other”. I mean, it does work, but I was totally off in my thinking when I said it- even if I sound right- but thanks for making me sound like I knew what I meant. In my defense, I’ve been programming web stuff a bunch, and in doing so, the viewer of the screen is always what defines left and right.

.mary {
float: right;
}

Henrietta’s left could have easily meant to the left of Henrietta or to the left of Henrietta according to her left.

Um, Holy crap. Just. Blarg.

Fred: Well, your problem is you’re looking at the couch as the only relevant div, when clearly it has nested .cushion divs with a width of 1/3 .couch. So .mary can be float:left like you thought because #cushion3 that contains her is float:right compared to the one Henrietta is on. Assuming that the viewer’s screen resolution is wider than the couch in pixels, they’ll stack horizontally- but anyone who has that problem probably doesn’t have a compatible browser anyway, and the couch would render as a futon or something.

Celes: …add the hacks that make the couch sort of not be a futon, or at least not be a very bad looking one… Um, will you marry me? *shakes head* Sorry. I don’t know when CSS empathy started to be a turn on for me, but apparently it is.

Bob: I love that you are my friends. May I just say that?

Inspirational Video Game Quotes

Monkey Island I: The Secret of Monkey Island
I know everyone is all ‘up on’ the “All your base are belong to us” bandwagon, but the list of wonderfully bad (by bad, I mean good) video game quotes is long. I have read it over the years on my television and computer screens and laughed until everyone around me was embarrassed for me. I’ve picked a few games and a few favorites from those games.
Final Fantasy 3 SNES (6 Playstation) Locke Cole“Some of these are mistranslated, badly translated, or just products of brain damaged programmers (or translators, or both). Enjoy!



Yeah, this kid seems loaded for bear.” said about Terra who is using magic.

-Locke Cole, Final Fantasy VI (III US), SNES & PSX


Earthbound: SNES
“Knights do it two-handed.”

– townsman, Final Fantasy V, PSX


“This isn’t a leotard, it’s our combat uniform!”

– various amazon warriors of Toroia, Final Fantasy IV (II US), SNES & PSX


Final Fantasy 4 Play Station (2 SNES) Tellah speaking to Edward
“There are secrets where faeries don’t live.”

– old man, The Legend of Zelda, NES


“Whoah, are you still playing this thing?” said at the last level.

– Bubsy, Bubsy, SNES (note: not written on screen, but said)

Legend of Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (NES)“Even a door of this caliber can’t keep science at bay!”

– Lucca, Chrono Trigger, SNES



“No rubbish for Ayla, or head go boom!”

– Ayla, Chrono Trigger, SNES

Final Fantasy I: NES
“I’d rather have my gums scraped!”

– The Girl (main character), Secret of Mana, SNES



“Don’t be a tuna head.”

– Fred, Maniac Mansion, Atari ST & PC



“Grass green? I hate that color!”

– Bobbon, Loom, PC


King's Quest VI
“So you want to be a pirate, eh? You look more like a flooring inspector.”

– Blind Man, Monkey Island I: The Secret of Monkey Island, PC



“I’m looking for 30 dead guys and one woman.”

– Guybrush Threepwood, Monkey Island I: The Secret of Monkey Island, PC


Chrono Trigger: SNES

Guybrush: “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?”

Carpenter: “A woodchuck would chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can’t chuck wood.”

Guybrush: “But if a woodchuck could chuck and would chuck some amount of wood, what amount of wood would a woodchuck chuck?”

Carpenter: “Even if a woodchuck could chuck wood and even if a woodchuck would chuck wood, should a woodchuck chuck wood?”

Guybrush: “A woodchuck should chuck wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood, as long as a woodchuck would chuck wood.”

Carpenter: “Oh shut up.”

– Monkey Island II: LeChuck’s Revenge, PC


Earthbound: SNES in an elevator
“¡Madre de Dios! ¡Es el Pollo Diablo! (“Mother of God! It’s the Devil Chicken!”)” Guybrush, tarred and feathered, responds in Spanish, which makes it funnier.

– Guybrush Threepwood, Monkey Island III: The Curse of Monkey Island, PC



Earthbound: SNES with a COW
The screen shots (from the top) are:
Monkey Island I,
Earthbound (SNES),
Final Fantasy III (SNES) / VI (PSX),
Earthbound (again),
Final Fantasy II (SNES) / IV (PSX),
The Legend of Zelda: The Adventure of Link (NES),
Final Fantasy (NES),
King’s Quest VI (PC),
Chrono Trigger (SNES),
Earthbound (and again),
and Earthbound (yet again)



So, anyone like to share any of their own personal favorites? Try to tell us: who said it, what game, and what platform. Anyone can recite “All your base…”. I’m more interested in memories of a gamer’s greatest moments grimacing or guffawing at the ‘puter screen (or tv).