10 Random Things

So, apparently I’ve been tagged which means I have to blog with ten weird, random things, little known facts, or habits about myself. I could ignore this like a chain letter, but then I deprive the world of these ten things, and why would I punish all of you for someone elses’ crimes? ;)

1. I like to sleep in beds that are against walls, especially in corners.
2. I have a pet peeve about people putting their feet up on things. I find it gross for people to do that on couches you’re sharing, or on coffee tables you’re sitting at with them. It’s not that feet are gross, it’s that I don’t feel I should have to share their company or have them near my glass of water.
3. I hate coconut and don’t care for vanilla flavored anything. I like beets.
4. I used to play softball. I was pretty good at it too, and I can still probably kick your but at wiffle ball.
5. I don’t have cable television. This is not little known to the people I work with who I remind whenever they ask about me watching the whatever last whatever.
6. Most things about me are weird. That is not little known at all. :) However, I love cats, which is pretty normal and girly, which makes it weird for me.
7. When I was in second grade I developed a habit and fascination with pulling out my eyelashes until a teacher caught me doing it and said, “What are you doing pulling out your eyelashes, girl?”. It was a sudden revelation and short lived habit.
8. I was very into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I never liked the Power Rangers.
9. I have never been out of the country. (Yet.)
10. I’m not a numbers person, which is why I am using this as number 10, and I laugh at people around my age who are making a big deal about approaching and turning 30.

I’m supposed to tag people now to do this now. I’ll maybe… yea… do… that… sure… maybe…

Sorry I haven’t been around guys. Life is never simple, and often it’s hard to express or at least find the time to do it with the proper words. This blog deserves a real post sometime soon.

Crushing Lesson


On one of my last posts: No, I’m Still Not Dating Anyone, Thanks For Asking, one of my readership said in the comments: “…you attract people to you that will teach you lessons.”

I like this idea. It’s optimistic. It’s saying that all of the bad relationships, as much as I feel like they broke me down, were maybe really allowing me to build myself back up into something stronger.

The opposite is probably also true: that we are drawn to people that have something to teach us. What is it that draws you to a person and why? Those answers might be more important than ever pursuing an actual relationship. I’d like to think there is some actual purpose to crush.

Crushes fade in as you meet someone and fade out often as you get to know a person. I’m sure some of these things that make up the small obsessions we call crushes are just intangible whims, shallow attraction, or simply pheromones, but some of them probably have a great deal to tell us about ourselves. Even shallow attraction teaches us something the moment it goes from attraction to repulsion.

Crushes are terrible and wonderful in some very different ways than an actual relationship. They are these weird partially imagined relationships we carry out mostly in our minds, imagined moments, made up memories, and why, why not, and what if? Those are fine and good to an extent, but I can become concerned at the barriers they put up, real and imagined. There’s a line I can cross when I start to get to know and like someone. Interaction suddenly goes from easy conversation and laughter to strained, worried, calculated longing. It swings back and forth like a pendulum that I’m trying to stop somehow even though I’m on top of it.

I wonder if I ruin the potential relationships and friendships sometimes in the actions of a crush. I know I’m not the only one who becomes dumber, flakier, less confident, and not so good with words all the sudden. I wish I could get over the crush so I could get on with a friendship, get to know a person better, and move on if there is nothing really there (which there likely isn’t anyways). It’s easier said than done.

This post’s screen shot is brought to you by Final Fantasy VI, Game Boy Advanced version. My name twin is being hit on by Setzer after being kidnapped and thrown into a room on his airship. What a romantic!

Stranger than Fiction

This morning, on my way to do ‘the mail run’ before work, I almost hit a bird in the road. The thing that was odd about this was not that it was an animal in the wrong place at the wrong time, or that it was me in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The weird thing was the location: East Hartford Ave. Uxbridge, MA

Matched with the type of bird: peacock.

I knew it was the beginning to another odd day. I knew this not because I am a reader of omens and portents. I knew this because life has become an interesting and unexpected thing.

By now I should expect the unexpected. I have a job where just when you think there is some sort of routine, something new and different that you’ve never seen comes across your plate and stares at you with beady little eyes. Add this to the rest of my life. I have weird, vivid, often horrifying dreams. Coincidences and dejavu are constant. Is it more strange to feel like whats happening has happened before, or that both Ezra and I met after not seeing each other since February (and years before that meeting) both wearing Metallica shirts and admitting we weren’t ‘really big Metallica fans or anything’.

I wonder about writing fiction sometimes and the length people go to make it seem realistic. With the odd occurrences that happen on a day to day it occurs to me that we wouldn’t know what realism was anyways. Reality often feels surreal, and truth really is stranger than fiction.

Last night I dreamt about telling someone at work that I just had a dream about them, since in the dream I dreamt having that dream.

I also dreamt I was a super-long pole arm bearer for some feudal post-apocalyptic oriental army. I was captured by the enemy feudal lord when he tricked me into thinking I was close to defeating him. It was simply a ruse to get me away from the rest of the army and capture me. When I tried to escape, no matter how far and fast I went, there was a large-as-a-house warrior waiting to bring me back to my prison. There was nothing to do at this prison but sleep and play strange card games I was bad at.

I can only spend so much time on the epic stores my subconscious undertakes. Life is constantly weaving a strange tale of its own. Instead, I spend my time dodging peacocks.