“So… how do I get into the Vista?”
“…?”
You Probably Just Can’t
2
Category Archives: short (not so sweet)
Double Whammy
“When someone asks, ‘Double click?’ you know urin trouble.”
“Urine trouble, huh?”
IDK! …srsly…
Dude 1: …will be quick
Dudette: I hope so.
Dude 2: That’s what she said.
Dude 3: Indeed, she said it.
Dudette: I hope I never say it in that way.
Dude 2: Depends. Those kids have to get to school.
Dudette: Ummmmm… ?
Dude 2: I have no idea.
Dudette: Depends are diapers for adults.
Dude 1: Hahah- What?
Dude 2: I took that from a Dave Attel line, but it didn’t really work. “Some people say drunk driving is wrong, and I call those people the police. But hey… sometimes those kids gotta get to school.”
Dudette: …
When I’m Driving Home
Sometimes when I’m driving home I feel like I am playing live action Enduro…
…but it’s probably a good idea not to bump the cars.
All I see are the pairs of red lights going by.
Driving on autopilot, finally home, and it’s time to go again.
Linus Torvalds, Drugs, and Rock and Roll
Geek Guy 1: “Why does he want to talk to me about Linux?”
Geek Guy 2: “Oh well you know, you practically invented Linux.”
Geek Guy 1: “Yeah, me and Linus together. We’re buds. We even kiss on occasion.”
Geek Girl: “Wow. That’s kinda hot.”
Geek Guys: “…”
Voyager Truths
“I was watching Star Trek Voyager last night. I got to the part where Kess dies and 7 of 9 joins the crew.”
“Oh, the life support system for breasts.”
“What?”
“Well, that’s what she is on that show basically: a life support system for breasts.”
“That’s terrible, horrible, and also very true! …more true, her breasts are the life support systems for the rest of the show.”